great party

Last week we've been busy with other things in our lives, we celebrated the fact that once again I am a whole year older which of course was great fun... ha ha. I like to celebrate just about everything, except the fact that losing my young looks is not something to celebrate:) Usually around this time of year I always get remarks as; "I guess you're around 40", well if I would be 40 I would not have a problem with it, however, I am 40 MINUS 7! I mean, 7 years is a whole lifetime isn't it? 

After quitting smoking and gaining 50 pnds my face is my last vanity. After getting this off my chest; surrogacy!

The stress is mounting at the moment, our doctor went on a, probably, well deserved holiday. We however were still expecting profiles of surrogates! 

Since we haven't done a cycle at all yet, we thought that we would receive profiles at least three months in advance, we choose, the doc synchronizes the menses of ED and GS, ER and cycle away!

However, we received a profile two weeks ago, and keeping in mind tips & tricks from other IP's we didn't like the profile (age, weight), then we found out that our doctor was having a holiday. Okay, then I started to worry, I mean, we know the chances aren't very good the first run but we are willing to do everything in our power to create the most ideal circumstances. 

Our doc is back again and she understood, emailed us a new profile which was exactly on the dot! So this went actually fairly smooth, but the thing is, the EggRetrieval is soon to be, in no way there are three months to pass by before the transfer takes place, and I do not understand how they will manage to sync the menses in just such a short period? 

We've emailed that its fine with us to wait another or a second month but are awaiting an answer. I, we just have to be patient and have faith....boehoe!

Anyways, my b-day party was excellent and coming Monday is a bank holiday here in Holland so we're having a great long long weekend ahead :)

Good thoughts to all

Dates

And once again we're a bit further in the whole process.. we have an estimated date for the transfer. Earlier I thought I would post these dates but now I feel like I jinks the whole thing by doing so! So I won't post the exact dates, but after it has been done, I will post this. I can tell you we have to wait for still quit some time but for us it is amazing to know when the first try is going to be!! And I am scared sh*tless. I tell you why, we are a samesex couple and we both knew early on in our lives that having a family was not likely to happen for the obvious reasons. Since a few years we know that there are possibilities to take a different route but at first we did not think we would be so lucky. Now we are getting a chance. Just getting this chance is making us happy, but the scary part is the disappointment we might face. I have read about all the figures of getting a positive result and it still is more likely to get a negative result... but still, my hopes are up so high and I try to temper myself, but at the moment I can not help to live in 'la la land'. 

Last weekend a very close friend of mine had his birthday and he lives with wife and kid in the ultimate suburban area I know of (desperate housewives doesn't even get close:). And after a glass of wine I told the whole lot of neighbors there about our journey and at the end of the evening I even talked about possible names for our unborn child. I really try to temper my enthusiasm but really, it is the only topic I am interested in at the moment. 

For now anyways, A and I have created our own little shell of hope, and until other further notice we keep on hoping for a good result when its our time!

a bit quiet

We're home! For two weeks exactly. We had a great time in Mumbai and met some great people who were at the last stage of surrogacy; getting home their babies! Pff, wish we would be at that stage already and at the same time we're both glad we still have plenty of time to learn everything about nursing a baby haha. 

I understand that the choice of my words about our ED lead to some misconception... she was not missing as in she is gone, but the clinic could not get hold of her anymore. This was due to the fact that at the moment it is summer time in India and most people tend to spent all their time with their family. After a few days they told us they found her, but she has been ill, so we would have to wait a few months before she could do a cycle. A few more days later she wasn't available at all anymore for a long long time. Well, a lot of confusion of course and I guess we will never know exactly how or what, but we did choose another ED. As things are looking at the moment they will do a first try next month or so.....

I can only say this adds to the uncertain feelings we do have at times during this process but at the same time, we're not surprised at all by this. 

Of course we will push to get 'exact' dates. As soon as we know I'll post again, but keep in mind, one has to be a bit flexible here. The doctors will do anything in their power to get the best results for you and you just have to have trust in them.

Being home after a month and back at work is... well, I really have to get used to a routine again. And I am not there yet haha. That's the same with my blog rhythm and that's what I mean with a bit quiet. Good thoughts to all new parents and everyone who is doing absolute everything to get there!