more details

Things seem to go well, our surrogate is doing fine and so are our babes.

We are feeling more relaxed now and we feel we can also start enjoying this journey, better said we are allowing ourself now to enjoy the ride! Sure we are aware that a thousand things can happen but we will deal with it if 'it' occurs.

Fingers crossed for an uneventful pregnancy.

Some more details about both our babes just about 12 weeks, the next scan follows in two weeks time:

FHR1: 176 B/M.

FHR2: 182 B/M

Foetal movements and heart activity are present.

There is no evidence of a subchorionic bleed.

The lower uterine segment appears normal.

Bilateral adnexa are normal.

IMPRESSION: A DICHORIONIC TWIN INTRAUTERINE PREGNANCY IS NOTED.

Next scan

We received the next scan over the weekend, everything was fine!

Both are doing really well it seems, we just got home and finally internet access again, I'll post details tomorrow.

But let me tell you, we are both thrilled!!!

it's not always about us

The last week a lot has happened in surrogacy land, just read the unfortunate stories and you know what I mean.

nnign is a title I won't be using again, because sadly its not true so I changed it.

Communication and the need for it is a personal thing as well as a customer service issue.

In this journey are many many things and moments unknown to us, but in all situations it is important that if you like or need more information, you should get it no matter what. Even when it is just for your own sanity.

The fact that one of our fellow IP's received horrific news via an email(!) makes me feel sick!

Next week we will receive our next scan supposedly, I just dread the moment.

I need to remind myself that there are also positive stories (positive pregnancy tests and baby pick up). So that's what I'll keep on trying to do; focus on our situation and positive stories (with reality in mind).

Last Saturday we went to Hamburg Germany to visit friends, we went by car this time, mostly because Germany still has the world known Autobahn were you can drive as fast as you like without getting a speeding ticket. We both had our biggest sunglasses strapped on our face crossed the border and ready to rock... unfortunately for a very big part of the route they had road work... 60 km which is about 40 mph for a very very very long part of the trip! Instead of impersonating Speedy Gonzalez we looked like sunburned Ninja Hero Turtles upon arrival.

Anyways... Hamburg is a great city to visit and we had a great time, Saturday evening we went to a modern version of a BierGarten in a city park and it was great! I still can not believe the amount of beer people can drink! actually I must admit I can not remember it either lol.

The location of the BierGarten was excellent, on a lake in a city park, a DJ playing better and better towards the end of the evening and many people just chilling with their friends.

During the day we walked and walked and walked meanwhile updating our friends of all the things happening in our life, originally she is A's friend, but I've known her for some time and sometimes you just know if someone is a good person and she and her brother are very good people. Germany rocks!

At work things are hectic, I had some sort of a promotion but I just can not seem to find enough time to do it all.

A lot of people are pulling on my sleeve but it is logical, the economy is not at its best so people feel more insecure, at the same time I am always in a 'fighting position' which means that I always try to look for the upside of things. My glass is never half empty.

In all, things are in all places hectic at the moment and I do use all opportunities to distract myself from the most 'hectic to be part of our life'... work is a very good one!

This weekend my mum invited us for a weekend in Lochem... its a very small place in the east of Holland, nothing to do except long walks and visiting the Kroller Moller museum (a must if you're in Holland and you have enough time of course).

A friend of us has a part in a musical production and coincidentally playing in that area and invited the four of us to the show, my mum is looking more forward to meeting the star of the show afterwards cause she saw him being elected on tele.

The weekend after is A's birthday and since both our families are in Spain then, we've decided to fly out for the weekend as well. That weekend is also special for us since we will have passed the first trimester big time by then and we both hope that I won't have any morning sickness by then anymore. this is a joke.

We both feel excited to be with both families as everybody is so encouraging, supportive and hopeful along with us!

A and I are aware that the amount of traveling we are currently experiencing will be a whole lot less and different next year round and most people will be traveling to Holland to visit us which is great too.

It is really difficult for us to predict what will or will not be possible. We have friends who have three young daughters and they travel at least twice a month to their family home in france, just throw everything in the car and hit the road, other friends of us with one child are always planning well in advance before going anywhere! And sometimes they are a bit frantic about spontaneous decisions. We can relate to both but I guess it all depends on the needs of our kiddos. We have many things to learn and we are looking forward to it!

Okay, another post of blabbering, parts serious and parts about our life and parts not mentioned which are the wonderful conversations between A and I, conversations with friends about how our life is going to change, our hope, dreams and also their joy, hope, dreams and some times misery in their life. It's good to remember that it's not always about us, except for this blog:)

we'll see

This week we contacted the clinic to get all our questions answered.

And things are fine at the moment, which is a relieve but we still have to get through the first trimester.

Also some doctors around the world(!) have responded to my questions.. I know, it's sick, at least their response is exactly similar with our docs in India based on the information given.

So finally some sanity is kickin' in and I am really doing my utmost best to let go, go with the flow, don't worry & be happy. Its probably a good lesson for me to learn early on that me being in control is not going to happen with regards to our kiddos. A is a lot more relaxed and easy going and I just wish I could say that reflects on me with a snap of my fingers. It just doesn't, we do have talks about our different approach to this and it comforts me a lot in a way to see A's peace with it. However...(lol as in not convinced totally) I also think that when you would shake the cards again and being a frantic would be the norm that would mean I could go around and tell A to worry more. Wouldn't that be a blast!

I really could start now and complain how long this waiting feels but I am not at that point anymore and I am sure most of you out there are/have been in/ will be in the same situation soon. It just sucks so I deal with it.

So its best to focus on other things; A is off to Shanghai and took a friend along on standby, they are having a blast I heard!

Since I really have to save all my days for next year I won't be traveling as much as I like (according to my father "get used to it").

Saturday I went house shopping with my parents, they sold their place in the south and are looking into different houses at the coast (nearby our home..they are SO preparing to become actively involved grandparents!) We saw three places (I loved them all)! The houses we went to see were all waterfront-side with space for a boat and with a large garden. Since we live in the centre of a city we are both actively hoping for a green, spacious on the waterfront-side house to go to in the weekends! LOL (we really do not care that my mum never wants to take a boat out on the water, just sitting in it makes her feel sick, that my dad just doesn't want to have to do any work in a big garden ever again).

We'll see were they end up, we went back to our place and my mum saw a house for sale at the end of the park were we live... she texted me this morning that the pics on the internet looked promising. I told her that A and I will move at some point haha.

A's mum lives in Spain and is also preparing for her new role as Gran; she gave us a toilet.

You might wonder why, well, our town house is designed as a family house, but somethings aren't well thought off. The bathroom on the fourth floor does not have its own toilet and since the spare room is on that floor too it is of course a lot easier when she stays over she doesn't have to go to the loo downstairs and tataa this is were the toilet comes in.

Friends of us are also rooting for our babes, their support, encouragement and distractions are really great (hint I really liked our day out to Antwerp). In all I decided after an overkill of reading every blogg about surrogacy I could find, that NNIGN!

Scary

Since a week we know we're expecting twins and we feel fortunate.
Of course a twin pregnancy has more risks than a singleton pregnancy so I worry..
Last week we recieved a first scan, which shows our babes! But (sadly?) one of them is smaller and has a heartrate which is just below average. And after a week of google I am worried sick now.
I know I shouldn't read things on the internet and it is best to wait untill the next scan, but I can not help myself. We have wanted to create a family for a long time now and since we know there is a pregnancy it is real. After the first scan which showed their heartbeats it has even become more real!
I mean, I have been reading about vanishing twin syndrome, chromosome abnormalities, heart dissabilities and many many problems more and it is driving me nuts. The thing is that baby B has a slower heartrate 115 B/M and a length of 5.5 mm which resembles the same as 6.2 weeks were it should be at 7 weeks, of course it is a small difference but I think it is a big difference early on in the first trimester. Baby A has a heartrate of 143 B/M and length is 7 mm and is doing absolutely great right now. If any of you readers have heard about such a difference between twins early on in pregnancy, please let me know!
There is one good thing, my appetite is almost gone at the moment so great way of losing weight LOL.
Fingers crossed for our babes!