James & Emily

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Monday, 21 December 2009

Update is in! + pics

Today we received our latest update and everything is going well. Both babes are doing absolutely fine, and mrs. N is also doing fine, all though she has large babies to carry!

We are both totally excited now we're almost there. A is in Bangkok at the moment and he rang me a dozen times over the weekend. It all comes down to being scared and freakin' happy at the same time. We also received a couple of scans, but only one out of the ten pictures was clear enough to see a baby which was sucking his/her thumb.. we hope (s)he will carry on doing so after birth:)

I was really hoping for clear pics but they were mostly a blur to be honest. However, I've uploaded a few images and if anyone can figure out what gender they are; feel free to guess in your comments!

Fingers crossed for uneventful pregnancies! Enjoy your holidays, we definitely will enjoy our last Christmas without our babes! Can't wait for next year.


A twin, live intrauterine pregnancy with both foetuses in cephalic presentation is noted.

Foetal cardiac activity and limb movements are observed. FHR1: 135 B/M. FHR2: 140 B/M

Two placentae are seen. One is along the anterior wall and one along the posterior wall.

They show grade 2 maturity. There is no evidence of placenta previa.

Liquour is adequate. A membrane is seen separating the two foetuses.

The lower uterine segment is normal. There is no evidence of incompetent os.

The cervical length is 3.6 cm.

Various foetal parameters are as follows:



8.1 cm.

32.6 Weeks.


7.0 cm.

28.2 Weeks.

HC 1

29.6 cm.

32.5 Weeks.

HC 2

27.2 cm.

29.5 Weeks.

AC 1

27.3 cm.

31.3 Weeks.

AC 2

24.4 cm.

28.5 Weeks.

FL 1

5.9 cm.

31.1 Weeks.

FL 2

5.5 cm.

29.0 Weeks.


22 % NO IUGR.

EBW1: 1789 gm.


22 % NO IUGR.

EBW2: 1300 gm.

Following foetal organs (both the foetuses) are well visualized and do not show any obvious abnormality.

* Spine * Brain *4C Heart *Kidneys * Stomach * Bladder *3 Vessel cord

* Eyes * Nose * Upper limbs * Lower limbs.

It should be noted that because of foetal movements, position and quantity of liquour all the foetal organs may not be visualized optimally in one scan.



BY ET, THE GA IS 28 W. 2 D. EDD: 13.3.10.


BY USG, THE GA2 IS 29 W. 0 D.

Friday, 18 December 2009

just busy and a link

And we're a week closer again!
This week we haven't had any news so fingers crossed.
Two day ago my dad visited us so he could give us the shots for swine flu.
In Holland new borns won't get these shots until they're at least 6 months. And even though I know A through and through I was very much surprised to find out that he hates getting shots!
That night we also chatted via Skype with A's mum and my mum who are both in Spain, and since A's mum hadn't seen the nursery yet we showed it via video conferencing... and I also showed them the ordeal of getting A to sit down, look to the other side and my dad giving him his shot.
Not a pretty sight :)
But anyways, the pressure at the moment is quite intense, there is still a lot to do before we leave and we're just not home a lot the next coming weeks.
So I better get on with it, as soon as our next update is in I'll post it.
Good thoughts for everyone and fingers crossed for uneventful pregnancies!
Ps. here's a link to a site where they sell a story book for children with two daddies:

Thursday, 10 December 2009

No pregnancy diabetics!

We received a new update and the results of the sugar tests and all is fine! It really seems to go by the book this pregnancy (knock on wood for the ... I lost count).
Both babes are still larger than babes usually are at this gestational age, they're also both quite a lot heavier again: the smallest one is 1 kilo (2lbs) and the bigger one is 1.4 kilo (2.7lbs).
The doc will make a pic of our surrogate at the next visit so finally we'll get to see her belly!
Our surrogate is doing fine and she is taking very good care of our babes, today I spent some time thinking of her and how her being a surrogate is life changing for so many. I mean, she will give us the greatest gift I can ever hope for and she will be able to provide education and other really life improving things for her family.
I just read on another blog that the IP's were sending presents over for Christmas, and I felt kind of uncomfortable because I haven't thought of that! And then again what do you send? I am sure she can use a lot of things, but I haven't got a clue what she would like.

At the moment the gestational age is almost 27 weeks and they are in breech position, the doc told us that there is still plenty of space for the babes to move around, but it seems likely that they will be born by C section. The expected due date is still the beginning of February and at the moment there is no sign that they want to come earlier than that. Which is very good!
At home we're still working on getting things ready, and it seems there is no end to it! We really have too much of everything! My father visited today and helped me clear out the storage... and throw things away. Most of the things will be sold at a flee market and the revenues will go to an elderly home (I guess it's the spirit of the year:).
My dad even tried to convince me that I should get rid of some of my Christmas stuff.. Say what! I do have to explain a little bit I guess, a few years ago there was a sale on really nice Christmas decoration and I, well lets just say I emptied the store. I think I can easily decorate about 10 Christmas trees and I know this is ridiculous but I am attached to every single Christmas ball! There are already some boxes going to Spain for the decorations there and I tried to convince my father to take some extra in his luggage but he doesn't want me to move all my stuff from here to over there. A also wants me to get rid of half the decorations but I have hold my ground:) I did promise however that I won't buy any new decoration material... ever.
All minor worries, the most important thing is that our babes are doing great and our surrogate is doing great.
Fingers crossed for uneventful pregnancies and good festive thoughts too all!

Monday, 7 December 2009

Our doc

We hadn't heard from our clinic with regards to the pregnancy diabetics so we called them today and learnt that our doctor isn't working with the clinic anymore.
Anywhere in the world people change jobs so we don't have any hard feelings, but we would have liked our clinic to inform us. During this whole process you built up an relationship of trust, it starts when you first inform via email, then phone calls and so on until you have the positive result you're hoping off.
We had a great click with our doc, she was almost always on top of our case so we have to rebuilt a relationship with our new doc. I am sure many already have experienced changing docs during similar processes so I am confident that we will get to the same stage of trust again.
Our new doc did know immediately who we were and she had just seen our surrogate, she is doing fine, getting more tired as the babies are larger than they should be at this point. The results of the diabetics tests will come in this afternoon and she will email us tomorrow morning Indian time, so fingers crossed!

We got in contact with our-concierge-to-be and he is going to help us out with various things, we've decided to go along with the same concierge as the Mikes have used.
Furthermore we still haven't decided on a hotel! Bugger, still working on the best deal we can get. We did find a service-apartment for 5000 INR incl breakfast and all the amenities you can find at a hotel apartment but we haven't heard of anyone staying there and we very much like the hotel apartment where other IP's have stayed as we are sure that everything is there as it should be. So... the reason for us to look for the best deal is because we haven't got a clue how long we'll need to be there. It can easily be a month... or three.
Last weekend we went to the UK and did some major baby-gear shopping. And we are definite set to go!
Last Friday we chatted with Mike and they are sending us their baby-carry bags! Which is great 'cause I am still in shock about the amount of money we have spent in just one single store last Saturday lol. I guess I'll be in shock a lot more in the future. The whole trip was fun even though we hadn't really had any sleep prior leaving. My mum decided 5 minutes before we left that she wasn't joining us since she just read on the internet that there was a storm! A storm to powerful for her to get over her fear of the wide open sea, so it was a shame she didn't go 'cause when we got to the boat there was hardly any wind or rain and we had a beautiful crossing (really mum, there was no wind:). My dad however, was even more excited with the prospect of being on a boat with a big big storm, disappointment all around us haha. Next time we'll go by plane.

We're also working on leave from our jobs, my employer is being fairly easy but A's employer is a bit more difficult. Here in Holland there are rules for just about everything, except surrogacy.
When we would adopt we would get paid leave, but there aren't any rules on surrogacy so we just have to beg for some understanding. A already experienced that a women from HR was explaining to him that men shouldn't have children without a women being present! Some people are so ignorant and intolerant, we hired a professional to join him in his meeting today with his manager because if they are taking a stand so can we; equal rights for everyone! In two weeks time we'll hear their decision. So far we've anticipated that it will come down to unpaid leave and that's fine, but no harm in trying. Christmas is getting closer and closer and we are so looking forward to spending just a few days in the Spanish sun! After that we'll be on stand by at home to wait for the big arrival of our babes. As we are getting closer to the end and reading, talking with other parents to prepare, we still feel we're not prepared. I am scared, A is scared but confident that we will do our utmost best. But how does one prepare on sleepless nights? How can we be sure that we'll understand our babes even though they can't express themselves with words? Will we be able to tell the difference between a little cry before sleep or a desperate cry for attention, food or pains? It's just nerves I guess and we'll learn soon enough.
For now fingers crossed for uneventful pregnancies and good thoughts for everyone!

Thursday, 3 December 2009

100 Days

I was just waiting to write this, but till due date it is only 100 more days to go!
We're still keeping our fingers crossed for an uneventful pregnancy. Since we received the last update I am a bit anxious about the babes since they're so 'large' according to the docs... yep, I had a 'chat' with Dr Google.
We are awaiting the results for the tests for pregnancy diabetics, if they are this big due to pregnancy diabetics it can be controlled quite well by the docs.
If not treated correctly I understand that the placentae maturity can go up to grade 3, which normally should be more at the end of the pregnancy. Grade 3 maturity means that our babes won't be getting all the nutritions they need and that they should be born: and it is WAY to early for that.
But all of this is still unsure and the docs reassured us that even though our babes are quite large they still believe everything is fine with both of them. So this leaves us waiting for the results.

A was in Bangkok for a few days and he went to the Indian Visa Buro to get his visa sorted and he made the application ... in three weeks time he will be there again and thus able to pick up his visa. For him this was the easiest way to get a visa which allows him to stay for 6 months in India if needed. Next week I'll be in Belgium where I will sort out my Visa.

Fingers crossed big time for good health for our babes and our surrogate.
Good thoughts for everyone!

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Large baby

We got new scans! And both our babes are doing fine! Better than fine actually. At the moment were at 24.5 wks, but both of them are ahead of their growth curve, here some details:


A twin, live intrauterine pregnancy with one foetus in cephalic presentation and one in left transverse presentation is noted. Foetal cardiac activity and limb movements are observed. FHR1: 135 B/M. FHR2: 140 B/M

Two placentae are seen. One is along the anterior wall and one along the posterior wall.

They show grade 2 maturity. There is no evidence of placenta previa.

Liquour is adequate. A membrane is seen separating the two foetuses.

The lower uterine segment is normal. There is no evidence of incompetent os.

The cervical length is 3.7 cm.

Various foetal parameters are as follow:



6.8 cm.

27.4 Weeks.


6.4 cm.

26.1 Weeks.

HC 1

24.8 cm.

27.0 Weeks.

HC 2

23.3 cm.

26.0 Weeks.

AC 1

22.9 cm.

27.2 Weeks.

AC 2

21.4 cm.

25.6 Weeks.

FL 1

4.9 cm.

26.3 Weeks.

FL 2

4.6 cm.

25.3 Weeks.


21 % NO IUGR.

EBW1: 1012 gm.


22 % NO IUGR.

EBW2: 850 gm.

Following foetal organs (both the foetuses) are well visualized and do not show any obvious abnormality.

* Spine * Brain *4C Heart *Kidneys * Stomach * Bladder *3 Vessel cord

* Eyes * Nose * Upper limbs * Lower limbs.


As it looks now we will be staying at the Vits, somewhere this week it should be confirmed. And furthermore everything is going according to plan. The last weeks of a turbulent year have started and we look forward to a new beginning. Everyone who has emailed us the last weeks to help us choose hotels, concierge & nurses tips and giving us a direct contact at the High Commission office; THANK YOU BIG TIME. It is great that there are experienced IP's who share their knowledge via their blogs and via direct email.

Next week we're of to the UK for some baby shopping with my parents, as we're planning to spend spend spend we're going by boat and car... my mum really hates it and my dad loves taking the boat. Christmas will be spend in Spain, the whole family will fly out which is great but we have mixed feelings. Since our due date is getting closer I feel a bit apprehensive of leaving home, I'd rather be very close to an airport where there is a direct flight connection to Mumbai... just anxiety lol. But it will be nice to get away for just a few days and as it will be our last Christmas without Hubba and Bubba it will be extra special... although the whole family is looking forward to next Christmas WITH Hubba and Bubba.

We still haven't found a changing table which we like... and we have looked and looked and looked. Too picky? Yes I think so, but it'll be our goal to get that last piece of furniture before the end of next week.

The visas are an ordeal on itself at the moment, the rules have changed and we can only get a visa for a maximum stay of three months now, so we have to go to Belgium or any other country to obtain a visa for at least 6 months. We want to have a visa for at least six months the reason for this is that if our babes are born early they probably have to be in hospital for a longer stay, the birth certificate can take up to 21 days I believe, then there is the needed exit visas which can take some time too. In all we want to be on the safe side time wise, our goal is of course to be back home as soon as possible.

Back to Large Baby, in the document sent to us it stated that both babes are ahead but one was called Large Baby! Knock on wood for uneventful pregnancies! Good thoughts for all of you out there.

Monday, 16 November 2009

no glamour

We... as in A is really busy lately because I had a little accident and am currently married with our sofa and my crutches.
All is going well with the babes and we are almost prepared for take off! Yes, suddenly it seems to go very quickly. The suitcase for the babes is getting full and our list of necessities is getting shorter:)
The nursery is not finished but will be in the next coming weeks hopefully so that leaves prep work for the paperwork which is extreme! I will post pics of the nursery... even though I am not sure why previous pics of the babes are now just a little question mark.
So I would like to call out to Susan: could you email us directly? We would like to ask you some questions but I am not able to find your address!

We have also asked several (apartment) hotels for quotes but just one has responded so far; really the most expensive one too.
Then there is the concierge we need, I found a website called concierge4india.com, but haven't heard of anyone using that specific site. If you're already back and had an amazing concierge do not hesitate to email us! We understand that they can make a difference in staying 1.5 month or 3 months.
Both granny's will probably join us after a few weeks in India 'cause obviously waiting to meet their grandchildren is not in their book lol. And when we think of flying back with our babes, we can imagine that every helping hand is welcome:)

Our list of names isn't set yet. We seem to be able to add names, but hardly any name sticks or we simply change our mind. I mean, hip? ancient? roman? latin? etc.. Difficult decision.

And to finish my post; I fell of a step at the petrol station... no, no glamour at all!

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Real babes


Some more scans, they are really looking more and more like proper babes. From today on we are only 14 weeks away before getting on a plane to India!
The cribs are in the nursery and it looks great, we are slowly changing our house into a child friendly-zone. The next coming months are going to be busy! Thank god they can't walk immediately 'cause then we would be in trouble from the start lol.
We're also discussing names... over and over again, we're okay for one boy and one girl at the moment but we really do need an extra set of names we both agree on.
After all the scans we received lately I think we're going to have two boys, A doesn't want to gamble so he doesn't join me in guessing-gender-games.... fortunately loads of friends and my mum like to guess too! Of course it doesn't matter what gender they are, but as I mentioned in earlier posts; I'm a curious bloke.
I got my list for 'things to take with us', it's a long list. I also explored different hotel-appartments but haven't decided yet, today I also looked into short-lease furnished apartments in the Powai area, didn't find many furnished apartments but the ones I did find were considerable cheaper and bigger compared to the apartment hotels. But the thing is, it also means we would have to cook:( everyday, and the amenities of the hotels with all their service would be very much missed!
Hotel apartments seem to be more expensive now compared to when we were there earlier this year so in the end it will be a budget thing.
Anyways, we still have some time to decide and the most important thing is that our babes are doing fine!

Thumbs up for uneventful pregnancies

Saturday, 31 October 2009

dvd impossible and an impossible list

I have been trying to edit the dvd we received of our babes, but I just don't get it right. The name of our wonderful surrogate keeps its place on the dvd, and we do not want to expose her name. Its a shame 'cause it would be great to share these images of our babes!!!

Yesterday we received another update of the babes with a few more scans, they are both still doing fine and growing... faster than I thought twins would grow. They are both ahead the grow- curves and the expected delivery date is now 10 days earlier. We asked our doc when we should be in Mumbai to be in time for the delivery and it still is Valentines day 2010, I don't think they will arrive exactly that date but near to that date anyways, twins do tend to come a bit early. Tomorrow we'll be picking up one of the cribs we bought and next week the other one, V-day is getting closer and we really should start to get the nursery ready. So far we have been anxious to start but at the same time a little hesitant, we just didn't want to jinx it. But as we are halfway there, we should start now.
Last week my mum stayed over for a few days and she went to the babydump store with A, and also some other baby stores as well. She can't resist buying something when she is in a baby store and she bought one big kangaroo and a big furry dog and some smaller items. We also have been looking into things we need to bring to Mumbai and many months ago I read a list of someone else with advice what to take. Stupid me but I didn't copy-paste it into my to-do list.. So experienced IP's: your list is more than welcome! I mean, I read about people who brought their own diapers but had to buy new ones locally as the nurses didn't approve of the diapers which were brought over. Formula is another big issue, which one is best? Is it best to bring your own so the babes don't have to change back to a different formula once you get home? How many bottles should you take with you? (I can multiply if you only know it for a singleton:)) How many onesies to take? My mum says that 7 each should be alright. Which bottle sterilizer is the most handy one to take along? What meds should we have with us all the time for the babes (if any)? Breath in and out I know, but there is so much to think about and becoming first time parents you just don't want to forget anything.
The hotel or apartment will be sort out this week, haven't really decided yet but the Vits seems to be popular these days (if you know how far it is from Hiranandini(?) pls share this info). And what about car seats? Do you take a maxi-cosi for the car rides in Mumbai or can you just hold them? (here in Holland you can be put in jail if you don't put your baby in a proper car seat). Also I would like to get some advice on a gift for our surrogate, we haven't met our surrogate and I doubt we will actually, but we do like to give her something. For her it must be an emotional ride as well and I am sure she will think of our babes in the future too hoping that they are loved, cared for and become great individuals when they grow up. It is a promise that we will do everything in our power to provide them with love, be caring parents and the best in all they need. But how do you express this to someone who is giving us the greatest gift?
Anyways, any word of advice, link to your post on the subject, is greatly appreciated.

Fingers crossed for uneventful pregnancies!

Friday, 23 October 2009


Today we received a dvd with the last scan! It's incredible to have a sneak preview of hubba and bubba. They are having a blast in there, it even seems as if they are playing together or is that wishful thinking?
I do have to say that as they are both still developing, the 4d part of the scan was at first a bit scary, I mean you suddenly see them in sephia and you can clearly see a big head and a rather small body still. Their faces are beautiful visible, one of them really likes to suck his thumb, the other one is still trying to find its mouth lol. But it is amazing that they already look as developed as they are, you can clearly see their bones, heart, brain and a little foot. A is in the UK right now, but this morning I couldn't wait and drove before work to the DHL office to get our package... I also took my laptop so I could immediately watch it. I talked A through the whole dvd and he'll see it tomorrow. So glad A didn't mind me not waiting.
Tomorrow afternoon we'll drive to my parents so mum can watched it too (she can not wait any longer).
And with regard to their gender, yes I expected it would be easier to detect anything with a film of the scan, but as a matter of fact, there is no way even a pro would be able to identify their gender. They are both just way to active to hold still, mmm ADHD already? haha.
I am trying to find a way to edit the film so the name isn't visible of our surrogate, and then we'll post it (if you know a easy way to edit pls let me know!)
What a week it has been, time seems to pass by so quickly and we still have SO much to do.
We haven't made much progress on the nursery, I mean the room is almost empty but we still have to decide on the colour and furthermore we haven't actually bought that many items.
The biggest issue is the changing table, they are all the same and just to small. The beds are decided on so that's easy but we also need a new closet for them; yes another big item to match with the other items in their room. Then I've been reading this book of Gina Ford The Contended Little Baby and she has a lot of opinions on just about anything so I have to work her ideas into our room supposedly... A told me not to use this book as my own personal bible.
I am blabbering again, but I'll post it anyways because I saw our babes on DVD!!!!
Fingers crossed for uneventful pregnancies and also good thoughts for those awaiting news!

Tuesday, 20 October 2009


Another week went by and we received more scans over the weekend, this time the scans were more about measurements and therefor it didn't really show the form of their body. One scan stood out from the rest because it was just one pic of a foot! How tiny and how perfect a little foot can be.
Our surrogate is taking really good care of our babes.
Last week we've asked if it was possible to receive a picture of our surrogate and if possible her belly, we also asked for a video scan and today the doc emailed us that they were going to send it to us!
Jippie! We really enjoy the (almost) weekly updates, its like a drug to us. Every time we receive a scan I start wondering what gender they are, so far there aren't any scans were you can tell their sex. And I am getting so curious! At first we thought that as we arranged everything so far, it would be nice to have a last big surprise at when they are born and A still feels this way... but I am so curious! Its a good thing the docs don't tell you because I would not be able to keep that to myself LOL.
As to why we would like a picture of our surrogate, we try to look into the future and we think that if our babes want to see the belly they grew in until their birth, it can be helpful. Our book of the start of this journey 'till were we are today is getting thicker and we hope these books become a treasure to both of them when they're older (we're making two exact books for the both of them; might as well get used to do everything double)... and if not they can always use it as a book-end.
Good thoughts too all and fingers crossed for uneventful pregnancies!

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Busy,Triple marker test, payments, time, dreams

We have been awfully busy lately. We went to the UK for a weekend to spend time with family and it was great. I also got to meet family which I hadn't met so far and they made me feel so welcome! It was at the house of a cousin of A's mum, he is 87 yrs old and even though it didn't seem he fully understood the whole surrogacy process, he was truly very enthusiastic about us having twins. A and I had a day trip to the lake district and visited a place called Windermere, Beatrice Potter the writer of Peter Rabbit lived there.. yes the book collection for babes has started.
Last weekend there was a reunion from A's school and as many people flew in for the weekend I now feel as if I am a binge drinker, british people are known for their drinking capability but I am quite confident I blended in without a hitch.

The last test results came in for the triple marker test, I am not sure how many times they do these test because after the first twelve weeks there was a test done and now again: but its always good to hear things are fine with our babes! (knock on wood).

These last couple of weeks have been horrific on the payment side, we didn't seem able to wire the payment, it came back several times and because of the exchange rate changing a couple of times (and we weren't lucky here) it has cost an extra rib for us... bummer. It did go well the last time, not sure what 'caused the hick up but it's done now.

Time: we are short of time. There is so much to do at home, work, studying, getting in contact with a person from the high commission office UK in Mumbai (pls email us if you know someone), arranging time of from from work, learn about babies, socializing (now we still can lol) and emotionally preparing ourself for the biggest change ever!
Last week A woke up early in the morning, I was already preparing for work and the first thing he said was: I had a dream about hubba and bubba (the babes), we were visiting family with them and we had all these bottles with their formula but no suck-thing for on top (no idea how that thing on top is called) so we couldn't feed them and they started crying and we couldn't console them: horror! And then A said: o, btw we're having two sons according to my dream. Yep, the sleep came back and he dozed of again.
I just do not have a clue what gender they will be but there are more people who think it will be two boys but there is also a big crowd who really feels strong that it's going to be a boy and a girl, two girls would be in fact a big surprise, mostly because nobody seems to think that.
As we are getting closer we get more anxious to know what gender they are. It will be the last surprise, but having ten fingers and ten toes, each, is much much much more important than knowing what gender they are.
We can (NOT) wait to meet hubba and bubba and since the last scans where they are looking like really tiny human beings the bonding has really really really started big time. We love them both already to pieces and we hope they stay safe and sound where they are now. Good thoughts to all and fingers crossed for uneventful pregnancies!

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Good thoughts and a picture!

Well I guess this is a first for us but we actually posted our first picture of one of our babes! We received these last weekend whilst we were in Toronto Canada (btw I love canada; beautiful country/city and super kind people). We are so so so so so thrilled! I really like this picture since s/he seems to be having fun in there. Things are still going great (I just knocked on wood for the one billion time almost). All the other pics are incredibly clear as well and I think I could tell the gender of one of them (after searching for examples for both gender pictures on the internet). The pics were actually made almost two weeks ago but for some unclear reason it took a little longer before they were send to us.
Last week I went along with A to Toronto Canada which was on my top list of places I have wanted to visit for years and we decided that we should enjoy the freedom to do that now... next year will be so incredibly different. The Niagara falls were great, mostly because we went on the Maid of the Mist boat. Whilst we were waiting to get on board in our blue plastic raincoat there were some tourist from Japan waiting as well. We saw them putting household foil on there shoes (pictures only on request lol) and we thought that was kinda over the top. Boy were we wrong! We were soaked! Due to jetlag we were there VERY early in the morning so there was plenty of time to visit the outlet stores just over the border in the US. A searched the internet for strollers and supposedly there were some big stores with only strollers: we did not find them but we did find plenty of other outlet stores with baby stuff. So we gave in and bought some of clothes from Osh'kosh B'gosh (or something like that) for when they are newbies, 3 months old and 12 months old, we know that is a bit early but o well.
Crossing the border between Canada and the US wasn't a big pleasure. Every time I enter the US for a visit it seems that the police thinks we are criminals with bad intend. It feels horrible. Both our passports have stamps from all over the world which is of course terribly scary, we look like mafia since we are from another continent so therefore we cannot be trust. In all, the border people don't make you feel welcome. Of course after 9/11 things are different in the US now, but I never think of myself looking like a crook and that is exactly the feeling they give me. I have been reading about tourist figures to the US and they have been going down for a while now, even in the US people are talking about the way tourist are welcomed at the border and the way people are treated. I just hope that a bit more reality is kickin' in 'cause we are not used to cops shouting: 'Step away from your vehicle SIR, hand your keys over and wait here!" I mean, do they really think that us two queers will put the pedal to the metal? LOL. According to A the border people here in Holland are just the same for people from other continents. I feel ashamed if this really is the case, so therefore: sorry for rude Dutch people! When we crossed the border again back to Canada we took the wine route to Toronto and I do not want to insult the canadians, but I never knew they made wine in canada. The route back to Toronto was beautiful, the space people have in Canada isn't comparable to the space people have here in Holland and now I understand why people think it is crowded here in Holland. I mean in Toronto there are so many houses with gardens in the middle of the city, its just unheard off! We also went for a drive through Wisteria Lane. Yep, we found it, it's in Edwards County Canada. At the sailing club we talked with a lady who lives there and she told us; yep, it looks like Wisteria Lane, it feels like Wisteria Lane but without the high heels, no cocktails and only if you are actually from the place people will talk to you. She was definitely from far far away:).
That evening we went to a bar in Toronto with horrible looking drag queens, which they were only for the occasion to collect money for people/children with aids. But one of them stood REALLY out from the crowd, just imagine your neighbors grandfather, in a short white dress, high heel shoes, big Marilyn Monroe look a like white sunglasses and a BIG white wig... and a white beard. What people do for a good cause. Since I am not particularly good with time differences we didn't stay too long... and also after one drink we saw enough haha, we went back to the hotel. The day after we spent exploring the city and flew back again late that evening. I had to get back to work again and since A has is fixed annual holiday he went to visit family in the UK, I'll join him for the weekend.
So in all, we are enjoying our time together to the max and we are also preparing big time for the big change next year. Good thoughts to all and especially for our surrogate and our babes!

Saturday, 19 September 2009

A's blabbering

Three and a half months on, the nerves have settled a little, but we're opening another can of nerve-worms as we speak! What colour to paint the walls of the babies' room!? Everywhere we go (and that's a lot), we see baby cots, baby car seats, baby jump suits, baby shoes, baby socks, baby uggs (can you believe it!), baby bottle warming equipment and much much more. What to choose and in which colour? The baby vanity is mounting! haha, it's a hard life!

We've been to see a baby daycare facility near us, and it was impressive, if somewhat huge! The fear of leaving your baby with strange people is a daunting prospect (even when you haven't physically got the babes in your arms yet). It's a highly emotional and traumatic situation. We've therefore now asked Niels' mum to be to help us a little on certain days. Because I was virtually brought up by my grandparents as a child, I find it extremely important that our children's grandparents play a big role in their development.

We're still nervous regarding the progress of our surrogate. That's more to do with the so-called time delay of the info coming from India rather than any real fear! We've received a number of emails just saying that the surrogate is doing well, not really a satisfactory answer you may agree? The pressure is now on to get that much wanted extra info and see those photos we've been waiting for!

We also received a kickass song from the Mikes, don't forget to check their blog!

Sunday, 6 September 2009

and some more blabbering

I was home alone this weekend and enjoyed doing absolutely nothing this weekend! Just had a few drinks at our local bar and watched all new episodes of the X factor UK! It is a bit sad but I am actually addicted to this show, I've seen it the last couple of years and I am still amazed how much talent they find in the UK.
I never watch the dutch version cause we dutch do have some talents but singing isn't one of them!
On the pregnancy side nothing much is happening, everything seems to go alright. We did receive our invoice for the next trimester which means getting closer to our goal.
Now we're getting further in the whole process, it also means for me that I start to wonder what sort of parents we will be? And how will we manage time wise to get all things done? I mean as much as we love having two babes in our lives it is the biggest life changing event I can envision.
The surprise of expecting two babes instead of one is great but it also means a lot of extra changes. I mean, A is gone for at least two days a week and sometimes even three and how will I manage to feed two babes alone at night when they both need to be fed? Scary!
Last week we went to the day care center for our intake, and even though it looked great, really friendly staff and all, I did think it is strange that after the long road we have been following to get were we are today we will take our babes to a day care center. It is only for a maximum of two days a week and supposedly it is good for the development of their social skills but I rather have them at home. Having said that, I rather have night care lol.
At the same time things have always worked out well for me and A so bullocks to scary moments!
We also started to move things out of our office which is going to be the nursery.. this means that my painting room will also be a office. The babes will be sharing a room and I guess that's okay for the first year or so. We haven't got a clue yet how we want the nursery to look but we have started exploring the internet stores, in Holland it is common to start work on the nursery when there is still three months pregnancy left so enough time to do that.
I am really in a blabbering mode these last couple of weeks but heck I'll enjoy my blabbering moments as much as I can! Good thoughts to all.

Thursday, 3 September 2009

just some blabbering

After we received our last scan, we felt secure enough to sign up with a day care. We found out they weren't taking any extra kiddos and there was also a waiting list.
So much to our surprise we received a letter that we are granted with two spots at the day care, starting august 2010. Beside the fact that the costs are incredible, we are happy with the flexibility they offer. We need at least two days a week, but due to A's work these days differ, of course this is a great reason for them to raise the bill. I actually think that starting a day care isn't a bad idea, I mean two kids two days a week day care will cost us about 1300 euros a month, there is a tax deduction but what a profitable business.
I do think I would go mental with 4 babies to take care of all by myself so probably not the best business adventure for me lol.

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

more details

Things seem to go well, our surrogate is doing fine and so are our babes.
We are feeling more relaxed now and we feel we can also start enjoying this journey, better said we are allowing ourself now to enjoy the ride! Sure we are aware that a thousand things can happen but we will deal with it if 'it' occurs.
Fingers crossed for an uneventful pregnancy.

Some more details about both our babes just about 12 weeks, the next scan follows in two weeks time:
FHR1: 176 B/M.
FHR2: 182 B/M
Foetal movements and heart activity are present.
There is no evidence of a subchorionic bleed.
The lower uterine segment appears normal.
Bilateral adnexa are normal.

Sunday, 23 August 2009

Next scan

We received the next scan over the weekend, everything was fine!
Both are doing really well it seems, we just got home and finally internet access again, I'll post details tomorrow.
But let me tell you, we are both thrilled!!!

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

it's not always about us

The last week a lot has happened in surrogacy land, just read the unfortunate stories and you know what I mean.
nnign is a title I won't be using again, because sadly its not true so I changed it.
Communication and the need for it is a personal thing as well as a customer service issue.
In this journey are many many things and moments unknown to us, but in all situations it is important that if you like or need more information, you should get it no matter what. Even when it is just for your own sanity.
The fact that one of our fellow IP's received horrific news via an email(!) makes me feel sick!

Next week we will receive our next scan supposedly, I just dread the moment.
I need to remind myself that there are also positive stories (positive pregnancy tests and baby pick up). So that's what I'll keep on trying to do; focus on our situation and positive stories (with reality in mind).

Last Saturday we went to Hamburg Germany to visit friends, we went by car this time, mostly because Germany still has the world known Autobahn were you can drive as fast as you like without getting a speeding ticket. We both had our biggest sunglasses strapped on our face crossed the border and ready to rock... unfortunately for a very big part of the route they had road work... 60 km which is about 40 mph for a very very very long part of the trip! Instead of impersonating Speedy Gonzalez we looked like sunburned Ninja Hero Turtles upon arrival.
Anyways... Hamburg is a great city to visit and we had a great time, Saturday evening we went to a modern version of a BierGarten in a city park and it was great! I still can not believe the amount of beer people can drink! actually I must admit I can not remember it either lol.
The location of the BierGarten was excellent, on a lake in a city park, a DJ playing better and better towards the end of the evening and many people just chilling with their friends.
During the day we walked and walked and walked meanwhile updating our friends of all the things happening in our life, originally she is A's friend, but I've known her for some time and sometimes you just know if someone is a good person and she and her brother are very good people. Germany rocks!

At work things are hectic, I had some sort of a promotion but I just can not seem to find enough time to do it all.
A lot of people are pulling on my sleeve but it is logical, the economy is not at its best so people feel more insecure, at the same time I am always in a 'fighting position' which means that I always try to look for the upside of things. My glass is never half empty.
In all, things are in all places hectic at the moment and I do use all opportunities to distract myself from the most 'hectic to be part of our life'... work is a very good one!
This weekend my mum invited us for a weekend in Lochem... its a very small place in the east of Holland, nothing to do except long walks and visiting the Kroller Moller museum (a must if you're in Holland and you have enough time of course).
A friend of us has a part in a musical production and coincidentally playing in that area and invited the four of us to the show, my mum is looking more forward to meeting the star of the show afterwards cause she saw him being elected on tele.
The weekend after is A's birthday and since both our families are in Spain then, we've decided to fly out for the weekend as well. That weekend is also special for us since we will have passed the first trimester big time by then and we both hope that I won't have any morning sickness by then anymore. this is a joke.
We both feel excited to be with both families as everybody is so encouraging, supportive and hopeful along with us!
A and I are aware that the amount of traveling we are currently experiencing will be a whole lot less and different next year round and most people will be traveling to Holland to visit us which is great too.
It is really difficult for us to predict what will or will not be possible. We have friends who have three young daughters and they travel at least twice a month to their family home in france, just throw everything in the car and hit the road, other friends of us with one child are always planning well in advance before going anywhere! And sometimes they are a bit frantic about spontaneous decisions. We can relate to both but I guess it all depends on the needs of our kiddos. We have many things to learn and we are looking forward to it!
Okay, another post of blabbering, parts serious and parts about our life and parts not mentioned which are the wonderful conversations between A and I, conversations with friends about how our life is going to change, our hope, dreams and also their joy, hope, dreams and some times misery in their life. It's good to remember that it's not always about us, except for this blog:)

Sunday, 9 August 2009

we'll see

This week we contacted the clinic to get all our questions answered.
And things are fine at the moment, which is a relieve but we still have to get through the first trimester.
Also some doctors around the world(!) have responded to my questions.. I know, it's sick, at least their response is exactly similar with our docs in India based on the information given.
So finally some sanity is kickin' in and I am really doing my utmost best to let go, go with the flow, don't worry & be happy. Its probably a good lesson for me to learn early on that me being in control is not going to happen with regards to our kiddos. A is a lot more relaxed and easy going and I just wish I could say that reflects on me with a snap of my fingers. It just doesn't, we do have talks about our different approach to this and it comforts me a lot in a way to see A's peace with it. However...(lol as in not convinced totally) I also think that when you would shake the cards again and being a frantic would be the norm that would mean I could go around and tell A to worry more. Wouldn't that be a blast!
I really could start now and complain how long this waiting feels but I am not at that point anymore and I am sure most of you out there are/have been in/ will be in the same situation soon. It just sucks so I deal with it.
So its best to focus on other things; A is off to Shanghai and took a friend along on standby, they are having a blast I heard!
Since I really have to save all my days for next year I won't be traveling as much as I like (according to my father "get used to it").
Saturday I went house shopping with my parents, they sold their place in the south and are looking into different houses at the coast (nearby our home..they are SO preparing to become actively involved grandparents!) We saw three places (I loved them all)! The houses we went to see were all waterfront-side with space for a boat and with a large garden. Since we live in the centre of a city we are both actively hoping for a green, spacious on the waterfront-side house to go to in the weekends! LOL (we really do not care that my mum never wants to take a boat out on the water, just sitting in it makes her feel sick, that my dad just doesn't want to have to do any work in a big garden ever again).
We'll see were they end up, we went back to our place and my mum saw a house for sale at the end of the park were we live... she texted me this morning that the pics on the internet looked promising. I told her that A and I will move at some point haha.
A's mum lives in Spain and is also preparing for her new role as Gran; she gave us a toilet.
You might wonder why, well, our town house is designed as a family house, but somethings aren't well thought off. The bathroom on the fourth floor does not have its own toilet and since the spare room is on that floor too it is of course a lot easier when she stays over she doesn't have to go to the loo downstairs and tataa this is were the toilet comes in.
Friends of us are also rooting for our babes, their support, encouragement and distractions are really great (hint I really liked our day out to Antwerp). In all I decided after an overkill of reading every blogg about surrogacy I could find, that NNIGN!

Monday, 3 August 2009


Since a week we know we're expecting twins and we feel fortunate.
Of course a twin pregnancy has more risks than a singleton pregnancy so I worry..
Last week we recieved a first scan, which shows our babes! But (sadly?) one of them is smaller and has a heartrate which is just below average. And after a week of google I am worried sick now.
I know I shouldn't read things on the internet and it is best to wait untill the next scan, but I can not help myself. We have wanted to create a family for a long time now and since we know there is a pregnancy it is real. After the first scan which showed their heartbeats it has even become more real!
I mean, I have been reading about vanishing twin syndrome, chromosome abnormalities, heart dissabilities and many many problems more and it is driving me nuts. The thing is that baby B has a slower heartrate 115 B/M and a length of 5.5 mm which resembles the same as 6.2 weeks were it should be at 7 weeks, of course it is a small difference but I think it is a big difference early on in the first trimester. Baby A has a heartrate of 143 B/M and length is 7 mm and is doing absolutely great right now. If any of you readers have heard about such a difference between twins early on in pregnancy, please let me know!
There is one good thing, my appetite is almost gone at the moment so great way of losing weight LOL.
Fingers crossed for our babes!

Saturday, 25 July 2009

twice as happy

Today we received our scan! Two healthy foetals! Two!
If only words could describe our feeling of pure joy I would write them down, but no words can capture this.
Although they're both healthy, one of them is small compared to the other one but we have no idea what to think of this.
The smallest one is actually normal according to Wikipedia and the bigger one is slightly out of the higher range. The doctor emailed us and said that they are doing another scan in 4 weeks to see how the smaller one is doing because she too said that the smaller one is small in every way compared to the bigger one. But it has a strong heartbeat!
To be honest, this week I have started on a new post at least 4 times but they are still in 'drafts'. I did my math again and again after receiving the Beta numbers. And in my draft posts I wanted to share my thoughts.
The first Beta numbers were out of any normal range so I thought this must be twins, the second Beta numbers were within range but on the higher side, the third was normal for one foetal and the fourth too. So I thought that one of them just stopped developing. But now they did the scan and found two heartbeats! We haven't really looked into twin developing yet but of course we will now.
We feel so lucky at this point and also hopeful that the smaller one catches up with big brother or sister :)) The to-be grandparents are also overjoyed, my mother is burning all candles she can find. My mum can't wait to call A's mum but since we haven't got hold of her yet she has to wait (horrible yes). My dad was just proud of himself as he predicted us having twins.
We have told our closest friends that we are in fact expecting twins now but we need all the good thoughts we can get! It feels so real now, I mean, the bigger one has to keep developing as it does and the smaller one just has to catch up. There are two heartbeats, two tiny tiny foetal and two over the moon so happy to-be daddies! Pfew, every time I think that things can't possibly get more scary it just does.
This morning A got home from Canada and we read this wonderful news together, then we had to go to the dry cleaner and on our way home we passed "babydump": in English this is an awful name, in Dutch it stands for low budget baby store. So we went in to look at some things and also to get an idea about how much are beds and strollers and and and.... well I can tell you now the prices were not low budget at all haha. But they did have some cool stuff like automatic rockers, just wish they would make these for adults too. They also had some handy lists of all the things you need: also a lot and we enjoyed our first official visit whilst expecting with heartbeats!
Last weekend in Spain was wonderful and I was imagining that around the same time next year we will be there too but then with our children. But it still is difficult to really grasp how much our lives are going to change, I remember talking about preparation for their arrival with the Mike's and they too said that it really doesn't matter how much you prepare yourself because it will never be close to reality. But still we will do everything to get at least close to the best preparation ever lol.
Well folks this is it for now. Good thoughts for all who is expecting or about to be! And extra good thoughts for both our precious babies, we could not be more happy.

Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Rain in Mumbai

We were supposed to hear from the clinic again last Friday with regards to the B numbers, however, due to the heavy rain in Mumbai at the moment our surrogate has not been able to travel to the clinic. They've arranged transport for her today so we will know more tomorrow.
I can only describe what a feeling we have at the moment. We are both still very much thrilled over the fact that there is a pregnancy, we feel confident and just hope for the best.
Last weekend my parents came back from a holiday and we hadn't seen them since we got the 'word', first thing they did was visiting us... even though I specifically said that there was nothing to show for yet:)) : my mother just could not wait to give our first present LOL, about 20 onesies. We had a good laugh, but too, it is an emotional journey for them as much as it is for us.
A is an only child so a grandchild was not something his parents expected, I am one of three and for various reasons there was no way for my parents to become a grand parent... but look where we are now! I am not really a person who wants to keep something like this a secret, also because a lot of people have known for a long time that we were trying to create our own family and also supported us and and and.. whatever.. we are ecstatic! Our love, respect and friendship goes beyond I ever expected to experience.
Here in Holland there is a saying; "ieder huisje heeft z'n kruisje" which means something like every family carries its burden or has a different road to take. For us it meant keeping our focus on the things that are really important. For others we know it meant a lot more misery..and for those of you: Whitney's new song 'I didn't know my own strength'. Perhaps I am a bit more 'mushy' now! LOL.
Tomorrow morning I am off to Spain for a few days of sunbathing. A is already there since yesterday but I am just too busy at work to take to much time off (Poor Little Old Me). Off to work and fingers crossed for good B# (... but not to high!:)

Monday, 6 July 2009


We just received an email which states that our surrogate is tested pregnant!!!! I think we are still in shock now.
We just phoned our parents who are as ecstatic as we are and also a little bit in shock, all of us tried constantly to temper our hope, and I think that tonight we will try to temper our feeling again to prepare us for the next 10 weeks! For now, we are as happy as one can be!
We're both in shock as especially the last week we were more and more expecting it not to be successful the first try! Of course we still have to wait if everything stays okay for the next 10 weeks and then the rest of the pregnancy of course!!
Now of to work and fingers crossed again!

Monday, 29 June 2009

1 more wk waiting!

In my previous post I was wondering what the reason is to test after two weeks, but I fully understand now! It is better to know if there is a chance for a positive OR a negative after two weeks than having to wait for four weeks... which would feel like years I guess. The anxiety for the first three months will remain of course.
especially since one of my co workers wife found out that she was pregnant but when they had their first visit at the docs there was no sign of life anymore (9,5 weeks). Of course they are very very sad now 'cause no matter what if you had a positive after the home test you are hopefull of a succesful and uneventful pregnancy.
We will have to wait another week to know if the embies have been transferred succesfully and that they are trying to hold on. Then just another 10 scary weeks before we know if they are planning to go for the full ride, followed by another (at least) 25 weeks of hoping and waiting.
After I heard the story of my co worker, I did have a sad feeling but I also feel that there must have been a reason and I do hope that if we get a negative I will still feel that things happen with a reason.
But of course I can not help myself to feel so incredible positive at the moment! I am one of these persons who is mostly very much upbeat opposed to feeling insecure or down. At times people will call this naïve but its not. It is my choice to believe that we will achieve our goal and that is building our family. We do appreciate everyones good thoughts for our surrogate and we also appreciate every burned candle!
Okay, this was my last post until we get news from Mumbai, fingers, legs, arms everything crossed and good thoughts for all.

Thursday, 25 June 2009


Well okay, after a few days things are very much back to normal again and we are back in the waiting modus.
Me waiting means me finding out things. I have been looking into the grading of three day old embryos when they are implanted if found okay. Whilst there is so much information on the subject (I like all the bloggers who extensively publish their findings) it is very hard to tell what's going to happen. We had A quality and B quality embryos. The pics of the embryos aren't very clear at first, but after looking at other pics on the internet they seemed quite okay.
Here is the big but, there is no guarantee... ever! A+++ embryos do not mean; 'we're going to stick around 9 months'
Here's where the nature part really kicks in. So far it was mostly a clinical thing for us, we had to deliver our part in the clinic and that was it, the doctor handled all the technical lab things, retrieved eggs, brought egg and sperm together and after a few days placed the best embryos back and give nature its chance to do its part.
According to the clinic they can do a pregnancy test after two weeks, however, A and I are more interested in a test after 4 weeks, supposedly most women have the pregnancy hormones in their body after two weeks even when there is not an actual pregnancy. This is due to the fact that the gestational surrogate has been given hormones to improve the 'quality' of the (*can't find the right word now). So I wonder now, why not just wait 4 weeks to do the test?
Pff, know the answer to that one; impatience!
Good thoughts to all!